Instructions
Look for signs of relaxation and contentedness. Your cat probably doesn't desire affection when it is anxious or actively doing something. You should wait for your cat to relax its tail, look you in the eyes and slant its eyes, as these are signs of relaxation and contentedness.
Pay attention to when your cat rubs up against you or headbutts you. Headbutting refers to the way in which cats will jerk their head into your leg or arm to get your attention. These signs are usually indicative of your cat's desire for affection.
Read your cat's body language and determine what the appropriate response should be. For example, if your cat looks restless and keeps nudging you, then it may want to play with catnip or a toy. If your cat lies in your lap and looks relaxed, then it might want to be petted.
Spend time with your cat doing what it wants to do, as this will gain trust and display affection. This may involve playing, petting, hiding, feeding or simply sitting side by side.
Take note of what your cat likes and does not like, and try to make sure that your actions reinforce things that the cat likes. For example, if you cat doesn't seem to like being petted on the stomach, then try to pet its head in the future. If you're cat doesn't like a certain toy, then you might want to buy a new toy for it.
How to Be Affectionate With Your Cat
Unlike dogs, cats reserve their emotions and express them in subtle ways. Detecting your cat's emotions may be difficult, and your attempts to be affectionate with your cat may seem unfruitful because your cat doesn't seem to notice. However, the key is understanding the body clues that your cat gives and responding to them with the appropriate and affectionate gesture.