A person can get agitated at any time, anywhere. How other people react can mean the difference between intensifying a volatile situation and calming the agitated person down. Whether trying to reason with a disgruntled client, boss, person with mental illness, driver or suspected criminal, how you present yourself and react is key.
Instructions
Verbal Communication
Watch for the warning signs. When a person gets agitated, his voice changes and his body language becomes more aggressive. He begins to talk louder, faster and in higher pitch and he may fidget, clench his fists or move around.
Listen to the person. Do not use the time she's talking to formulate what you are going to say next; take in everything she says and wait until she is clearly done to speak. Use nonverbal responses when appropriate like nodding or smiling sympathetically.
Paraphrase what you think the other person is saying to you after he is done speaking. Make sure you grasp what the person is upset about by saying "I think you are saying" before parroting his statement back, minus any swearing, accusations or threats it may have contained.
Speak in a calm, neutral tone. What you say may not be as important as how you speak.
Refrain from making judgmental statements about the situation or the person. Respect the feelings she is expressing and imagine how you would feel in a similar situation.
Nonverbal Communication
Focus on your body language. An agitated person may interpret how you carry yourself as aggressive, anxious or disrespectful, making the situation worse. Actions are nonverbal cues into how you feel and what you think; some conflict resolution trainers believe these are just as important, or even more so, than what you say.
Limit eye contact. The agitated person may perceive you feel hostile or aggressive if you meet his eyes for too long. If you do not look at the person enough, it appears you are not paying attention. Conflict resolution professionals do not have a set time they deem appropriate for eye contact and you should use your best judgment.
Maintain a neutral facial expression and posture. A calm face goes a long way in diffusing hostilities. Avoid smiling or laughing because an agitated person may take these gestures to mean you are mocking her.
Stay still as much as possible. Fidgeting shows you are uncomfortable, which in turn makes the agitated person increasingly anxious. Pay attention to your posture and avoid movements that you may do unconsciously, like shifting your weight.
Minimize your gestures. Heated conversations may make you want to wave your hands, point fingers or fold your arms over your chest. The person may interpret your hand movements as increased aggression and escalate the situation.
Do not touch someone who is agitated. A person consumed by his emotions may misread an attempt at physical contact as hostile or an attack.