I used to have a lot of trouble with our dog--she was pushy and bossy and demanding. She'd help herself to food on the table, jump up on the bed and all but kick me off, and just generally seemed to think she owned the place. That would have been fine if she had of paid the mortgage, but she didn't;-).
So, I started watching Cesar Millan's the Dog Whisperer on TV obsessively. The transformations he was able to bring out in dogs was incredible and I was always especially impressed to see how happy the dogs were with the new balance of power. I wanted that for my house, and my dog. But I wasn't very good at just feeling "calm-assertive energy" like he always suggests. So I did some more research and found a way to bring out that energy for myself with my dog. It's made a big difference in her behavior and might help you with your dog, too!
Instructions
To get calm assertive energy around a dog, I found the Nothing in Life is Free dog training program really helpful. Nothing in Life is Free (or NILIF for short) is just what it sounds like--from now on, your dog has to earn everything by being obedient. Step one in this program is to just think through what it'll mean in your day-to-day life with your dog. It's pretty straightforward, but it requires you to be really conscious in all of your interactions with your dog, so you'll need to give this program some intentional thinking before you start it.
Start by training your dog to sit if your dog doesn't already know this one. If you've never taught your dog a command before, spend a few weeks on just this level, practicing sit in dog training sessions of about 15 minutes a day. This is important because without a command your dog knows well, you can't do the NILIF dog training program. Once your dog does know a command, you can move on to step three.
From now on, never feed your dog anything--food or treats--without requiring obedience first. And, if you've been letting your dog get away with sloppy obedience, no more of that! In NILIF, you want your dog to listen to you and to make it snappy. So, if you're feeding your dog, and you give the command Sit, and your dog doesn't sit quickly, make your dog stand up, and then do the sit again. Once your dog is responsive and being a good listener, the reward is that you let your dog have the treat or eat his dinner.
After you've gotten the hang of always requiring obedience before feeding your dog, look for more ways to practice NILIF dog training. Any time you give your dog anything from attention (petting or game play) to going outside to putting on the leash to go for a long walk, your dog needs to be obedient first. Every single time. This is going to take practice--I know how easy it is to mindlessly pet the dog without asking for a sit first--and you may stay at step four for several weeks while you get used to using NILIF dog training.
If your dog is still being pushy, look for other privileges you can take away. Is the dog allowed on the furniture? No more--now he sleeps on the floor at all times. Is the dog allowed to follow you from room to room? No more--now he stays on his bed when he's in the house. Basically, this step in NILIF dog training is to treat your dog like a teenager who's broken the rules and to look for all those "bonuses" you can take away.
Keep practicing NILIF dog training. Just as Cesar Millan's "calm-assertive energy" is a lifestyle if you want to live happily with a dog, so is Nothing in Life is Free dog training. From now on, if your dog wants something, he's got to be obedient first. In about a month, you'll find this new way of being with your dog is a habit and it'll be really easy to maintain. As a bonus, you'll be giving off the calm assertive energy your dog needs to feel comfortable letting you be the boss.