Pet Rock Instructions

A pet rock is a pet substitute. This fad introduced by advertising executive Gary Dahl in the 1970s had a short lived run, but made Dahl a millionaire. He wrote an instruction manual to accompany the rocks he marketed, which has been added to over the years.

  1. Picking Your New Pet

    • Pet rocks are typically smooth and uniformly shaped rocks. It should not have any spikes or sharp edges. Your pet should feel nice to pet, not hurt. Pet rocks should have some shine to them. Once the body had been located, the rock will need googly eyes, which can be found at most craft stores. Glue these on, but do not glue on any legs or arms. Pet rocks do not need them. Finally, name your pet rock.

    Caring for Your Pet Rock

    • Caring for a pet rock is simple. He may miss being outside, so do not hesitate to bring him outside once in a while. No need to worry about tying him up, he will not run away. In fact, he will most likely be right where you left him. He would also probably enjoy vacations to the Grand Canyon or the Rocky Mountains.

      You do not need to feed your pet, as he does not have a mouth to eat with. Taking in the air is enough for him. He is also a terrible swimmer, and while he can hold his breath forever, he will never be able to swim back to the top of the water.

      Be careful with your pet rock near glass objects. If he is knocked into one, there is a good chance that he will break the item. So leave him at home when you want to go to the glass shop. You do not want to be forced to buy something because he broke it.

    Burial for your pet rock

    • There will come a time when the light will leave the eyes of your pet rock, when this happens you know he is dead. Burying your pet rock will be a sad occasion, but it can also be a time of celebration for your pet rock's life.

      Bury a hole in your backyard deep enough to completely cover the rock. Once the rock is covered, smooth the dirt over, and place a headstone rock to mark his grave.